Forgiveness

This was in my mailbox today:

It makes no sense to brood anxiously on the harmful actions we have committed in the past to the point where we become paralyzed. They are done, it is over. If the person is a believer in God, the appropriate action is to find some means of reconciliation with Him. So far as Buddhist practice is concerned, there are various rites and practices for purification. When the individual has no religious beliefs, however, it is surely a matter of acknowledging and accepting any negative feelings we may have in relation to our misdeeds and developing a sense of sorrow and regret for them. But then, rather than stopping at mere sorrow and regret, it is important to use this as the basis for resolve, for a deep-seated commitment never again to harm others and to direct our actions all the more determinedly to the benefit of others. The act of disclosure, or confession, of our negative actions to another--especially to someone we really respect and trust--will be found to be very helpful in this. We are quite wrong if we merely acknowledge the gravity of our actions inwardly and then, instead of confronting our feelings, give up all hope and do nothing. This only compounds the error. Above all, we should remember that as long as we retain the capacity of concern for others, the potential for transformation remains.

--from Ethics for the New Millennium by His Holiness the Dalai Lama