Vignettes, crono-inverted

I sit in bed updating my journal, listening to the giggles and snorts of the sixteen year olds in the next room watching Borat. As the film progresses, I hear them make the same progression that I did, from “oh God,” to “oh no!” and finally to, “oh stop … please stop …”. redmed snoozes in post spa-treatment / massage stupor.

Steam rises from the twin, outdoor hot tubs into the sub-freezing air of Maine. I am surrounded by rutting children of privilege. I soak in the warmth, looking at a zenith star through the rising steam, hoping against hope for northern lights.

I pour the last quarter of my 3 liter “Jereboam” of beer down the sink, since (a) it’s all yeasty sludgy at the bottom and (b) everybody, despite our best efforts at killing the beast, is pretty much done. The bottle is now empty. Let the brewing commence.

The mighty hometown team defeats that awful team from someplace else, in the sporting event of the day! Huzzah! Up with us! Down with them!

We feast with s co-workers and families, all in two huge suites at the ski resort to which we’ve been invited as part of some bonding ritual.

For the first time in years I barely hold my own in a casual set of games of chess with someone other than my nuclear family. Two losses, two wins, spread across two days. I need to play real opponents more often.

I am attacked by a 5 year old and a 7 year old. They team up to surprise and immobilize me. Fortunately, I know kung-fu. Unfortunately, they know that I know kung-fu, and it fascinates them. One of them is a biter.

I hurtle down a “blue” ski trail on my second day skiing in my adult life. My right quadricep locks up in a knot of barely-functioning pain. “Not good,” I think, as I negotiate another turn. “Work with me here, leg.” It complied, but demanded hot-tubbing in return.

Feasting!

The Bud Light Girls make an appearance at the resort restaurant where we collapse to carbo-load. They ignore us, since (a) we’re old (b) we’re already paired off (c) I’m drinking some obviously non-Budweiser product.

redmed and I take a three hour beginners ski lesson, and we are not at the bottom of the class. We are allowed on the lifts! Victory! We commence our slow turns down the mountain!

The suite is immense. Who stays in suites with five bedrooms spread across two stories? Apparently, we do, now.

The navigation system in the prius becomes convinced that we want the “scenic” route, at 11pm on the way here. That’s “single lane, barely paved, sharp mountain turns,” scenic. Fat mice scurry across the road in the glare of the headlights.