The book opens with Voldemort killing a primary character … maybe little Malfoy (for raw incompetence and sniveling). This could drive daddy Malfoy to secretly work with the good guys … to everyone’s massive distaste. He might also take out Harry’s foster parents in some vaguely terrorist-like subway-bombing move.
Voldemort dies at the end, but the twist is:
Neville is actually the prophecy child (though Harry has been flattering himself as such all along), and he throws himself in the way of his own fate … choosing his own death to kill Voldemort. Harry is f-ing *shocked* that the world doesn’t really revolve *entirely* around him.
Snape clearly, unambiguously, sacrifices his life to save Harry in such a massively heroic way as to shut the mouths of all dumbasses who think that Snape is secretly evil. No you fools, the joke is that Snape is secretly *good*.
By the way – Snape didn’t really kill Dumbledore … Snape put him down Phoenix style. He said one thing and thought another. The whole 6th book was about doing magic without saying the words out loud. Duh. Therefore:
After most of the hard stuff has been resolved, Dumbledore demonstrates his mastery of the Phoenix Magic by rising from his own ashes. Ass kicking ensues.
Ron and Hermione finally get it on.
At the end: Harry accepts a job under Dumbledore as the Defense against the Dark Arts professor.
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