First off: The movie Ultraviolet is easily among the five worst movies I’ve ever seen. So bad. As bad as Queen of the Damned. Worse than Blade II.
(1) It’s a goddamn VAMPIRE movie. No, I did not know this ahead of time. Color me “not a comic book guy”
(2) BAD computer graphics. There was, like, one real set in the entire movie … and it was a subway. I’m okay with CG as long as it’s (a) interleaved with real acting (b) not of brutally low quality. They faked a whole motorcycle race, and at no point did they cut in to show a real actress on a real motorcycle … thus giving a touchstone of reality. The whole thing was basically a 90 minute cut-scene from a high grade video game.
(3) Plot? Please.
(4) Dialogue? Please. “Are you going to kill me? Do you think you can?” Oh yeah, plus the classic “Sure, you’re as strong and as fast as me, but are you even one tenth as pissed off as I am?”
(5) Why would you take a perfectly hot actress, and spend a whole movie photographing her badly, in poor light, and in short cuts that give you no idea how she moves.
We staggered out, looking desperately for something *nice* to say about it. I finally hit on the fact that I like the idea of a disposable phone that prints on a piece of paper. It wasn’t any one thing, it was all the things.
I’m not getting that hour and a half back, am I?
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