Author: cdwan

Back in the country, just me and my dad. I’ve settled in at the school house, and I have a fire going and a little antenna up on a windowsill where I can get a single, lone bar of signal for my Verizon wireless card. Hey Verizon: I can’t hear you now.

We had a nice time over the weekend up in Baltimore with redmed, justkidding_nr, and sacredangle. It was my dad’s 60th birthday, so we went ahead with plans made previously and celebrated. The activities included my siblings introducing us to Viccaro’s pastry shop. We ate Way Too Much dessert. My brother was actually defeated by the “Death by Chocolate.” I’m not convinced that I’ve ever seen any amount of food stop him cold before.

For my part, I’ve been trying to avoid self pity … but I did some serious wallowing in rum cake.

From: Office of H.H. The Dalai Lama

Office of H. H. the Dalai Lama
Thekchen Choeling
McLeod Ganj - 176 219
Dharamsala, H.P.
INDIA

We are so far out in the sticks here that I am seriously considering the purchase of 200lbs of corn and 50lbs of sugar, for the purpose of making moonshine.

No seriously, folks, I hear banjos.

Last night, it dumped ice rain. This morning we woke up to a shiny wonderland of crunchy grass and ice-coated trees touching their tips to the ground. Of course, what woke us was the truly astonishing cold in the schoolhouse. The power and the fire had both gone out overnight, and around 6am, both of us were wide awake, re-starting the fire … in the dark. We crunched over to the main house, and my dad greeted us with hot coffee. He had boiled water on the wood stove and fashioned a makeshift drip filter using a colander.

He said that he was really glad to see us … he had been entertaining the thought that the footsteps approaching were neighbors with more food. Don’t get me wrong, the food is awesome and we’re grateful for it … but we’re all feeling a little portly. Plus, the thought that they might say the following devolved us into mad giggling: “Hey, we just thought … you might be lonely over here … so we cleaned out the peacock shed and put a cot in there for you! Just like home!”

Yes, the neighbors keep peacocks. It’s pretty surreal around here, even on a normal day.

and that was just the beginning

I’m sitting in my dad’s office, using the high speed internet. I’ve also been taking a moment to hug and remember with the nursing staff, office staff, and other physicians. There’s a lot of love here.

I’ve decided that there’s no way that I can possibly respond individually to all of the emails and comments that you folks out there in the world have been leaving here. To that end:

Thank you. Your thoughts, and simply knowing that you are out there, mean the world to me.

We’re on day 6 here. The rest of the family has gone home, except for redmed and me. We’re settled in at the school house. She’s already upgraded the bathroom (towel bar, medicine cabinet, new shower head) and is setting to work scanning the old family photographs today. I have no idea how we’re going to keep her amused. I’m well on the way to splitting and stacking a cord of firewood. I’ll probably go through my first axe handle today.

Also: The bluebirds are back. They arrived today. It’s spring now.

My mom’s obituary was in the Washington Post today. It’ll also appear in the Farmville Herald and in the St. Joseph Michigan paper.

Things are settling out. We ran into town today (a 45 minute drive) and got a fancy card from Verizon that gives me high speed internet anywhere we have phone service, so I’ll be able to work from here for a while. redmed is on “research” at work anyway … and has decided to hang out here for a week. The other family members have either departed or are leaving tomorrow. I took out some aggression on a pile of un-split wood this afternoon … and I’m feeling much better. Plus, we have firewood (chopped into rather small, highly regular pieces) for the next few weeks. I plan to purchase a heavy punching bag and some decent bag-gloves so that my dad and I can act on that urge to tire ourselves out.

It’s amazing how life really does go on. I was sort of expecting the world to change in some measurable way … but really it’s the same as it was before … but without that one particular person. Thanks again for all the love and support. It’s meant the world to all of us.

Things are holding together here. We had a small ceremony with the nuclear family today. We told stories, sang, chanted, read passages that meant stuff to us. It was really moving. We plan to have a larger, much more open celebration of my mom’s life in the spring, when the ice has melted and the flowers are up. All will be welcome to come down at that point.

There’s been a lot of really moving stuff this weekend. Here’s just a small sample: My mom has been very involved with the International Campaign for Tibet, for many years. She got to know the US head of the organization, John Ackerley. My sister sent him a quick note to let him know what happened. Within about half an hour, he had written back: He forwarded on the note to the private office of the Dalai Lama, who personally prays for close friends of the organization.

So, if you’re saying a mantra, prayer, or anything at all for Susan Hall Dwan today, you’re in really good company.

I got a call on Wed that my mother had died. This was completely unexpected and out of the blue. My brother and sister drove down to VA from Baltimore immediately. By the time I got the news, it was 9:00 on Wed night, and there were no more usable trips out of Providence or Boston that would get me there any sooner than simply taking the first flight in the morning.

My friend Dan was a hero to me. He came over and sat with me while I made plane and car reservations, occasionally saying things like “since I’ll be watching the cats and bringing in the mail, you need to give me a house key,” and “don’t forget dark socks with that suit.” What a guy. So I hurtled down to Baltimore airport and drove to National airport to meet redmed, who had finagled a red-eye from California. That went well, and her luggage finally caught up with us today, by FedEx.

There is no funeral planned, per-se. We’ve got many family members here, saying our goodbyes and comforting each other over the weekend. Sometime when the flowers are coming up, we will put together a memorial service and give everyone who wants to come down lots of time to plan their trip. This, I hope, will maximize the number of people who are able to come and share time with us.

I plan to live here with my dad for the forseeable future, at least the next few weeks.

Thanks to everyone, from the very core of my heart, for your well wishes, the phone calls, the emails, and everything else. Thanks to the neighbors, I don’t think we’ll have to cook for the next week or so.