Author: cdwan

I got my job done fast. As a reward, I get to come home early. No work tomorrow, only driving. The customer told me that I need to “brag more.” I’m pretty sure that’s a complement … but I’m not going to act on it … except just now.

My mother-in-law’s use of the term “do your job” has infected my mind. She tells her dog to “do her job,” when she takes said dog for a walk. Now, every time I think of “doing my job,” I think of pooping. Is that weird? I’m pretty sure it’s weird.

Anyway, I decided to hang out in Beefalo this evening, since the hotel was covered … and upstate NY is relatively lame. Went to the brewery at Perl street. Learned that they serve 100oz “widowmaker” beer-tubes. I sat watching a pair of cute girls polishing off on of these monsters and thought “Jesus, how cold does it get here?” On the way out, I realized that most of the bar was filled with pairs of people splitting 100oz of beer. Aie. That seems like a lot of beer, to me.

Walked past a movie theatre showing “Resident Evil, Extinction”. Yeah, you guessed it. I watched. It’s a *terrible* movie … and so *totally* worth the $5. There aren’t even any good quotes. Did I mention Transformers in IMAX? Now, *that* was worth the money. Optimus Prime will drop you like f-ing gravity. That’s how cool Prime is.

Walking back, I stopped at the Chocolate Bar for dessert. As I sat at the bar, the group of grown-ups who were busy buying each other rounds of shots pulled me in … and I was forced (FORCED, I tell you) to down two quick shots … served in little chocolate shot cups. I revealed that I’m a “computer geek” and was pressed into service fixing a busted Blackberry … so that one of the group could download email and make a call to China at 10pm. Yeah, she was the one buying rounds. The lawyers, living in town for 5 weeks for some case, bought another round while she talked. HELP! Fortunately, Buffalo is a walking-around, not a driving town.

What the hell is with this “one of the grown-ups” stuff, by the way?

Long story – less long – it was a long and crazy night. I get the impression that there is some sort of wildness going on in the downtown hotel above the bar. For my part, I’m now back in the Doubletree at the edge of town … and I plan to sleep almost, but not quite, until I get in the car to drive home tomorrow.

Yes, this is how rock stars roll. Hush. There’s no other explanation.

1,000 node, 2,000 CPU Linux cluster. Queuing system I haven’t used before. My software, installed and functional by mid-afternoon. The rest of the gig is gravy.

I love, in no particular order:

* Working with smart, motivated people
* When a plan comes together
* Technology
* My so-called job.

Oh yeah, plus, Transformers was playing in IMAX at the theatre up the street.

As usual, jwz says it much better than I ever could:

WAO-1: Face massage robot

Equipped with two 20-inch arms that protrude from a chair-sized aluminum box, WAO-1 performs massages by pressing the patient’s face from both sides. Each arm’s position and angle can be precisely controlled, as can the direction of the pressure applied to the face. WAO-1 also relies on a complex system of software and fuses to ensure the pressure does not exceed a certain level, and it is equipped with a “torque limiter function” that allows the arms to bend back should the robot begin to exert too much force. [Uh huh.]

Facial massage, which is known to combat dry mouth because it stimulates salivation, is used in the treatment of various mouth and jaw disorders. An estimated 10 million people in Japan are believed to suffer from oral conditions such as dry mouth […]

Eventually, I stopped patrolling last night. I decided that I needed to take active steps in my defense if I was going to sleep at all. So, each time I felt the need to get up, I would close one more door on the path between the outside world and my bed. Finally, I found myself in bed with no less than FIVE doors between me and the outside world. I said: “Chris, there are five doors, all either chained or locked, between you and the outside world. You will hear them coming as they kick through the doors … and you will have plenty of time to wake up. Get some sleep.” And sleep I did.

Until … 6 in the morning, when I woke up to drive in to Ann Arbor and surprise _earthshine_ on his morning walk. The look on his face as he drove up made it totally worthwhile. As he put it, “hey, that guy totally looks like fdmts!

Then I fought with Detroit … and it was kinda a draw. I got the tax, rental registration, and rental inspection offices to change the mailing addresses on the property. I also found out that some d*ckh**d has registered himself as the responsible party for renting out the house that IS OWNED BY ME. I mustered all the casual at my disposal and asked for his address. The clerk laughed and had none of it. I got a laugh out of the line waiting behind me when I asked if maybe I could have his family’s address instead.

One does not try to steal my house. Grrrrrrr.

Given that I had the deeds and trust documents with me … I think we corrected that which could be corrected on the spot.

Then I drove to Buffalo, NY, which appears to be a total hole. I’m writing this from the finest of restaurants – the TGI Fridays by the highway.

My hotel is nice though … more Marriott points for me. I think I’m at, like, 90,000 by now.

Addendum. I was just quietly congratulating myself on how cool I’ve become with this place. Waking up here this morning made me feel all in-control and junk. I came and I went … and I didn’t even flip out when I tried the wrong key, coming home from dinner. No problems.

That’s all gone now, thanks to a sound very remarkably like steps coming up the stairs. I believe that I teleported to the top of said stairs, and I stood there for a good solid 100 breaths, daring the invader to make a noise. I had to pry my fist apart with the other hand.

Naturally, the outside world made the noise at about 30 breaths … and again at about 75. There’s a truck or something out there that really and truly sounds like it’s in here with me … it sounds like heavy footsteps coming up the entryway. I have looked at the stairs and verified that it still sounds like that … even when I can see that nobody is there.

Y’all sleep well now. I’m off to patrol the premises with some sort of kitchen knife.

So, justkidding_nr was having dreams about me finding dead bodies in the basement here … and so I did. Yup. Found a body today. A black squirrel gave up the ghost between two cabinets in the basement. Gross factor was minimized because he had had a chance to become completely desiccated. Fortunately, I had purchased rubber gloves and Purell for exactly such a contingency.

Went to the bank today and showed them birth certificates, death certificates, and trust documents in an effort to get my name put on the books for the checking account associated with this house. They were all very nice, though it took three separate bankers to convince the computer to do what we wanted. At this point, I should be able to run the money side of things by remote. During one of the down times, one of the bankers sat down next to me and asked how she had passed away. It was very sweet and thoughtful.

Tomorrow, I attempt to work similar magic with the City of Deeetroit. I have no expectations of happiness, sympathy, or even competence … but I think that a full day ought to be sufficient to change the mailing address with the office of records. It’ll be an opportunity to practice my virtues, if nothing else.

Met with D, over dinner last night. She provided excellent legal advice related to this rather large pile of poo that I’m dealing with.

Met with the tenant, and she’s really nice. No, I did not raise the rent … no stomach for confrontation, and her order can’t afford more anyway.

Met with the handyman. He’s bidding out a new roof, repairs to the chimney, new windows, and a paint job for the house. Screwed? Yes. Yes, I am.

The brick house got all nice and toasty in the sun today, but now it’s cool outside and I’ve got no cross-breeze.

It’s gonna be a sweaty night.

There is a small center near the house I’m taking care of: Innate Detroit. It’s run by a good man, who is trying to do good things in a very rough neighborhood. They have yoga, drum circles, chiropractic, an all vegetarian cafe, and many other programs.

If you’re in the area, check them out.

I’m in the ancestral house in Detroit. All is well. No ghosts or bodies in the basement, although the garage door appears to be well and truly jammed. I’m meeting the tenant for lunch this afternoon, and an attorney-friend for dinner … hopefully to dispense with paperwork and make a plan for the next year or so.

The trip was a long haul, but uneventful. It’s about a 12 hour drive, including 4 hours across Canada. I stopped off at Niagara Falls, which was well worth it. That detour put me into Windsor around 9pm. I decided that I wasn’t in the mood for “Urban Exploration and Adventure” (as my mom’s t-shirt puts it) on a Saturday night, so I called up redmed and asked her to hotwire me a hotel in Windsor. God Bless the Internet.

I had forgotten that Windsor is basically Las Vegas Midwest … with all sorts of stuff legal that the US frowns upon (Cuban Cigars, Absinthe, Prostitution, Gambling) … and so the town was packed to the gills with drunken, clueless college kids. As I checked in, a group of girls was desperately trying to explain to the desk staff how it wasn’t their fault that they had broken the mini-bar. Good times. I was tired, and retired early.

This morning, I was subject to a random screening for customs. They poked around the car and asked where I was from (“long drive”), and where I was going (“nice neighborhood…”). Then they let me go. Looking at what they have to deal with … I need to revisit my thoughts on border security. These guys have about 30 seconds to make a pass / no-pass decision on each vehicle. What the hell are they supposed to do?

The plan for the afternoon: Go to the grocery store and get snacks and cleaning supplies. Yay!

We just bought a mattress. It’s being delivered tonight. As technolope said: Embarrassingly expensive … but I suspect it’s going to be hella comfortable.

Tomorrow, I’m going to drive to Detroit and do work on my Grandfather’s house over the long weekend. On Tuesday, I plan to go see the bank and the city to show them death certificates, birth certificates, and wills … in an effort to change the name and address on the relevant documents. I.e: I’m damn well *responsible* now … can they please address the mail to me?

On the way back, I plan to stop off in Buffalo for a three day gig installing software. That should be pretty fun, particularly since it’s a large cluster and a competent group of people running it.

It’s possible that I’ll be up for a moderate social engagement at some point Sunday or Monday. Anybody around?