The book opens with Voldemort killing a primary character … maybe little Malfoy (for raw incompetence and sniveling). This could drive daddy Malfoy to secretly work with the good guys … to everyone’s massive distaste. He might also take out Harry’s foster parents in some vaguely terrorist-like subway-bombing move.<\/p>\n
Voldemort dies at the end, but the twist is: <\/p>\n
Neville is actually the prophecy child (though Harry has been flattering himself as such all along), and he throws himself in the way of his own fate … choosing his own death to kill Voldemort. Harry is f-ing *shocked* that the world doesn’t really revolve *entirely* around him.<\/p>\n
Snape clearly, unambiguously, sacrifices his life to save Harry in such a massively heroic way as to shut the mouths of all dumbasses who think that Snape is secretly evil. No you fools, the joke is that Snape is secretly *good*.<\/p>\n
By the way – Snape didn’t really kill Dumbledore … Snape put him down Phoenix style. He said one thing and thought another. The whole 6th book was about doing magic without saying the words out loud. Duh. Therefore:<\/p>\n
After most of the hard stuff has been resolved, Dumbledore demonstrates his mastery of the Phoenix Magic by rising from his own ashes. Ass kicking ensues.<\/p>\n
Ron and Hermione finally get it on.<\/p>\n
At the end: Harry accepts a job under Dumbledore as the Defense against the Dark Arts professor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"