* Buy a cord of firewood. Seasoned hardwood if at all possible.
\n* Purchase a 20lb watermelon. Pickle its rind.
\n* Harvest cabbages. Ferment their shredded heads.
\n* Brew 5 gallons of beer, inaugurate the keg.
\n* Show up at Dustin’s keg party
\n* Grill the remaining filet of striper.
\n* Do not<\/b> offend my back in any way.
\n* Contemplate world domination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
* Buy a cord of firewood. Seasoned hardwood if at all possible. * Purchase a 20lb watermelon. Pickle its rind. * Harvest cabbages. Ferment their shredded heads. * Brew 5 gallons of beer, inaugurate the keg. * Show up at Dustin’s keg party * Grill the remaining filet of striper. * Do not offend my . . . → Read More: This weekend<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1347"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1347"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1347\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chris.dwan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}